Reflections on Conversation & Connection
by Patricia McGuire, LPC-MHSP
3/19/2025
Clients will frequently express sentiments such as, “I wish I felt more connection,” or “I want more depth in my relationships,” or “My family only discusses surface-level topics.” Many of us seek greater closeness with friends, partners, and family members. As human beings, we are inherently wired for relationships and community. Perhaps we want to go deeper, but don’t know how.
Here are a few guiding principles for developing connection through conversation:
Active Listening: Be present and focus your full attention on what the other person is sharing. Remain quiet, avoid interrupting, limit distractions, and stay engaged.
Thoughtful Reflecting: Use empathy to emotionally connect with the other person. Strive to understand their experience while internally reflecting on your own emotional and mental responses.
Mindful Responding: Address what the other person has said before discussing your own experiences. Acknowledge their feelings by asking a clarifying question or reflecting on their words. For example, you might say, “That sounds difficult,” or, “I imagine you felt really annoyed.”
Vulnerable Sharing: Foster connection by sharing your experiences with openness and honesty. Discuss your emotions and thoughts in relation to theirs, such as, “I have never experienced that; thank you for sharing,” or, “I had a similar experience, and it was really hard for me.”
This is by no means an exhaustive list or strict framework. Rather, these are some ideas for taking everyday conversation to a deeper level. Fostering and developing meaningful connection can be messy and difficult and doesn’t always happen quickly.
Really listening and getting to know someone takes vulnerability, patience, distress tolerance, curiosity, and compassion. Despite what we’ve maybe been told - it’s not always easy. Give yourself time and grace to get to know others, get to know yourself, and share with more vulnerability and courage.
Go deeper: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/interconnected/202312/empathy-the-conduit-of-connection
If you’d like to explore these ideas further, connect with Patricia McGuire here
